ahoy, mateys.

so... sorry to have been missing in action, ladies. 'tis the season and all. so, on saturday, i was at a pirate-themed 30th birthday party for a dear friend, but -- as it turns out -- the REAL action happened after the party broke up. i hauled some kitties to the gay bar. some girls retired to the hotel suite. and one -- name changed to protect the innocent -- had a little more adventure than she bargained for. here's an account of what went down, penned by an eyewitness to most of it:

"The weekend continued after Washington Plaza, first partying in the sweet suite until all hours, then the Sunday morning recap at Bar Pilar over Bloody Marys (who knew a bloody could be so good?) Winning the prize was [deleted], who, after giving her digits to metrosexual enviro lawyer guy, took some other guy home and he wet the bed. While she was sleeping on the sofa, the only DRY spot in her apartment, her roommate came home at 5AM with a "merry christmas to me" present: a christmas themed dildo that plays "Mrs. Claus is coming tonight".

Oh, it gets better. The next day at like 10:30, instead of sneaking out, he sits next to her on the sofa, where she was trying to pretend she was still asleep, to give him the room to sneak out. He talks to her for 20 minutes and then.... ASKS HER FOR HER NUMBER. Confidence like that is why men make more than women... they aren't afraid to ask for something even when it is laughably impossible."

Cheese and Rice

Why can't some people be happy doing a mediocre job at their own job instead of butting into my teensy tiny little corner of the world? Am I asking too much? I don't think so, although, perhaps I am. Perhaps it is time for a new job, a raise in 4-5 months be damned.

Thoughts?

Holy Crap!

Suddenly, I have to work all day. I didn't sign up for this!

god, jetsetting can be tiring.

hey girls.
chicago was FLAWLESS. that city might - in fact - be patsy's new playground.
I am back, with an extra shot in the latte to keep me going this morning.

how was everybody's weekend? and prudy -- tonight? e-mail a sistah.

hasta kittens,
=p=

odds and ends

penelope: welcome back. and welcome to scott's life of balancing the silly mens. good job.
prudy: must get deets on the ejection seat you seem to have installed for houseguests. good job.

question of the day: is it wrong to want to sleep with your office's courier?

ejected!!!

ladies,
john jacob jingleheimerschmidt is now "on the bus."
that's right.
gone.
history.
thanks for coming out. appreciate you playing.
oh, and by the way, make sure you at least feign interest in the next guy.

miss america is moving the pageant to Vegas. niiiiiiice.

so now, the dance card is down to one... but the one doesn't deserve "solo status" on the date rotation. SO, it's time to stalk down another candidate. THAT operation commences tonight at a fancy party. standby for updates.

uh, by the way, where's penelope? she disappeared off in her RV o' Luv and hasn't been heard from since.....?

=p=

tiny animal mania

so, i'm obsessed with butterstick the panda. we all know this.
today's mission: obtain credentials for media preview day.

in the meantime, check this out: http://justalittleguy.blogspot.com

oh, and by the way...

I had to turn down an invitation to a birthday party this weekend, as I will be in Chicago... fucking the brains out of the birthday girl's brother-in-law. We met at her wedding... where he was the best man... and I was the one sleeping with him on the wedding night.

She doesn't know about the wedding.
She doesn't know we're still in touch.
She doesn't know I'm heading to Chicago.
She doesn't know her brother-in-law is gay.

This is fun.

Le Update

hello, girls.
sorry to have been out of blogging loop lately. work expects me to work.
here's the latest on patsy's lay-a-ways from ManMart:

1.) john jacob jingleheimerschmidt (his name is my name, too.): dealt himself out of the game on saturday. nice conversation over dinner about his career, his day, his hopes, dreams, goals... after it was done, he asked *nothing* about me. *nothing.* i have to call him this week and end it... weigh in, girls. should I?

2.) radio robb: good, thus far. due to scheduling conflicts, i won't see him 'til next week, and he's cool with that.

3.) zack / derek / lego maniac: called him sunday. he said he'd call me back. it's now tuesday morning. fuck it.

so, we've cleared the dance card to one... and I need to get at least one more on there. i'm not entirely sure robb deserves to be the only one right now.

=p=

False Alarm!

There are no real shenanagans at the office today, just some over reaction to a stupid move by staff. Details offline if anyone cares (you really shouldn't).

What is up with Tallulah?

Patsy,
That's what I am calling him. Update please.